“Spy Wednesday”

a homily by
Fr. Zachary Burns, TOR

The Wednesday of Holy week is traditionally known as “Spy Wednesday.” The reason, I think, is fairly straight forward. In our Gospel today, we have Judas essentially acting as a spy, clandestinely operating behind the scenes in order to betray Jesus without the knowledge of his fellow apostles.

But I don’t actually want to talk about Judas today, although there’s more than a few homilies that could be given just on him, alone. Rather, I want to raise a point that I think is very important for us to remember.One of the most important aspects of the incarnations is that Jesus did not become man to experience only the best of our human condition, but also the worst of it. He knew poverty. He suffered incredible bodily pain. He felt anxiety and abandonment. And most importantly, he shared the experience of human death.

And he partakes in all of these things not in vain, but in order to sanctify our humanity. Over the next 3 days, we will see this all play out throughout our liturgies and our readings. But on this particular day, this “spy Wednesday,” I think it is worth remembering that there is one more humane experience in which Jesus decided to partake for the sake of our sanctification: betrayal. Not only was Jesus crucified and left to die on the cross, he also suffered betrayal at the hands of a friend.

It was not enough for God to feel physical suffering and bodily death. He also chose to experience the emotional pain of being hurt by someone He loved.

There is perhaps no greater mental and spiritual anguish than betrayal: to trust in someone and to have that trust spat upon. This can happen in little ways, such as when we catch wind that someone has been gossiping about us or spreading rumors about us. It can also happen in great ways: infidelity in marriage, having a relationship exploited for personal gain.

Betrayal is difficult because it leaves us inclined to hate not just one person, but two people: the betrayer and the betrayed. Sometimes the worst part of having someone betray you is that you begin to question everything you believed to be true. We hate ourselves for being victims. How could I have been so naive? Why am I so easily manipulated? Was I really that stupid to place my trust in this person?

Jesus knows that Judas is going to betray him. The wisdom of God has foreseen all things. But that doesn’t make the hurt any less real. Jesus feels human emotions. And to be kissed on the cheek while being simultaneously offered up to death by a friend has to be a pain that many of us cannot imagine. But again, Jesus experiences betrayal not in vain, but to sanctify our experiences with it. Just as the sting of death is destroyed by Christ, the sting of betrayal is destroyed by Him, as well.

So here is my encouragement for you today. Here is how we can best bring Christ into the experience of betrayal and discover a pathway towards healing.

First, remember we can always trust in the Lord. When our trust in humans is broken, as it will be at some point if we dare to make ourselves vulnerable to others (as we should), it can become easy to believe that NO one is worthy of trust.

But God is worthy of our trust. There is no promise that God does not keep. There is never a moment when God does not desire our good and our spiritual flourishing. In finding refuge in Him, we can find a safe place to renew our trust and be able to open ourselves up to others again.

Second, we need to remember to forgive ourselves for what we could not know. There’s no shame in having our trust betrayed by another. Remember, Jesus knew all things and was still betrayed! Our knowledge is limited. We should never feel stupid for having been hurt by another; especially someone we trusted. To trust someone who presents themselves as trustworthy is a sign of humility. We should never feel guilt for an offense committed against us.

And thirdly, remember to pray for those who have hurt us. Judas’ greatest sin was not that eh betrayed Jesus or even that he killed himself. It is that he never sought the mercy that Jesus surely would have given him had he asked. We should always prat fore those who have turned against us. It is a long process to rebuild trust in a relationship in which it has been broken. But to pray for someone who has offended us can be nearly instantaneous.

Remember, God’s own creation betrayed Him as we nailed Him to the cross. Still, He called out, “Father, forgive them.” We can do the same.

Betrayal is painful. I hope you haven’t experienced it, but I suspect that the majority of us have in some way. But, as painful as it is, it can become a means of growing closer to the Lord is we allow it.

Jesus experienced betrayal so that we would no longer be devastated it. So whenever we experience it, let us call upon Him for aid.